Thursday, June 27, 2013

This one is kind of a rant.... Sorry bout that!

I shouldn't let this bother me but it is... 

So we all know I've lost weight. A lot of weight, damn near 100 lbs. It's taken 2 years, I have about 100 more to go and that will take probably 4 more. It has slowed tremendously in fact I haven't lost any in the last 2 months. Partly because I've started a new job and our eating habits completely suck while I get used to it. Partly because its just a normal plateau period and this happens when you have a tremendously large amount of weight to lose.  

The best way for me to see results is to take photos along the journey, it's the only way I see the changes happening. I share said photos on Instagram or Facebook or both for a few different reasons. First because it keeps me accountable I know people see them and it helps keep me on track. Second in the middle of losing weight we moved. So old friends can only see my progress through those pictures. New friends don't know how heavy I was before I can show them old pictures and there aren't a lot but it isn't the same. So there are very few people that see me regularly and know how truly far I've come and how hard I've worked.

So a little detour in the story for a minute. My store doesn't open for about another month so we are all training in Salt Lake until it does.  Add to this that store is also undergoing a remodel, we basically have 2 stores in half the space. It's cramped. I got really sick on Monday, so sick that I don't even remember driving to work.  All I remember is that I was sweating profusely and my boss said I needed to go home and go to the doctor.  Imagine mine and the nurses surprise that I had a fever of 102 and raging strep throat. Today was my first day back and the air conditioning wasn't working so great. Probably the thing that bothers me the most about myself? The forehead sweat. It's so bad people and I get so embarrassed. Well I made a comment about how hot it was and that it was making me feel sick to some co-workers and then I went back to the office to finish my work. One of my new co-workers who I've only know a week or so and has already managed to become the single most annoying person I have ever met in my entire life, proceeded to tell the other 2 in the room about how fat I was and how I needed to exercise more and I was getting overheated because of it. Yes that happened. Well it took about 2.7 seconds to get straight back to me and it really bothered the girls she was telling this to. Here is the thing, I know I'm huge, I know why, and how, I also know how to fix it.  In fact I'm in the process, she doesn't know that of course because she doesn't care enough to get to know me. It didn't really offend me at first, as an obese person you get used to treatment like this. Now I'm angry, I want to justify, I want to show her all my pictures, I want to tell her how I exercise. Instead of being happy that I'm at the lowest weight I've been in over 12 years, I'm pissed because those around me don't even know it. I have to remind myself I'm not losing this weight for them. I'm losing it for ME. I had another co-worker tell me a few weeks ago I needed to be more self-confident. It's interesting because most people think I already am. I am not. I have to remind myself that she is right and I'm working on it. I love 99% of the people I work with. Everyone was very quick to tell me how inappropriate the situation was and be kind to me. I have let myself stew over that 1% for way to long today. I needed to write out the feeling and I needed to share it. So if you're still reading you're awesome and I love you!!

I should blog more, its very interesting to go back and read how I was feeling at certain points. I'm going to try and do better, this last year has been insane in every single way possible. If you blog leave a comment and give me your blog addresses again, I really want to catch up with my people!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Weight loss update

I haven't done an update in awhile so here it is!!  I went to the dr today and I am down 5 lbs since last month. The month before I was down 7.  I am not exactly sure what the overall is because I don't honestly know how high I started.  I think we are right at 70 lbs lost since last year. It is a very slow process but I am getting there, I am the turtle and it is turtle time!! If you get that joke then you are awesome :) My BP was lower than it has been in a very long, long time and that is such a relief, it got scary for a bit. The best thing in the last 2 months is that I am starting to see the changes!! I'm down 3 sizes and that is the strangest thing of all. Going to buy clothes and not just automatically getting the biggest size and hoping like hell I can squeeze into it. I'm feeling pretty positive on the whole weight loss thing right now!!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Lily turns the big 10!!!

Dear Lily,

Yesterday you turned the big 1-0!!! It was very important to you that everyone. EVERYONE. know that you weren't officially 10 until 8:58 a.m.  You woke up very early but were super chill in the morning because it wasn't official... yet.  But man oh man when you got home from school it was on like donkey kong!! You just kept saying over and over again "I'm 10!!! I can't believe I'm 10!"
You opened some fun presents from Mom and Dad. You really like your mustache necklace and one direction t-shirt. Then we went to dinner with our favorite family friends the Larsons with an O. Your best pal Reesey-P was so excited it was your birthday and they brought you balloons, definitely a favorite part of your day! After we were stuffed from pasta and yummy dessert we hit the movie theater for Hotel Transylvania it was silly fun!! We came home so tired and happy. You are counting down the days until this weekend when family is coming down and having treats to celebrate you and Daddy's birthdays!!
You are the funnest most sassy silly 10 year old drama queen we could ever ask for!! We love you Lily Ann!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


I am not good at the whole blogging thing.  I'm not even sure why I do it?  Will I look back on it to remember our life? Will Lily be interested in it at some point? Does anyone read it? Well if you do, here is an update on our little family.

I started my new job, I made it 3 days on the sales floor. It was not working at all!! The hours were crap and physically I just couldn't do it.  I called my manager and told her I just couldn't handle it and she offered me a different job, a better job. When does that happen? Like never!! So I'm still there, but now I work in the office and a little bit at customer service.  Most days I work 7-2.  Way better shift for being a mom and such. Life is clicking along right now and that is nice.

Lily starts school in September, we bought school supplies and her backpack today. She got a Jansport... Remember how cool those were? She will be in 4th grade and is very excited about her new school!!

Weight loss is still clicking along slowly. I don't even know what my overall number is anymore, but I did lose 4 lbs last month according to my Dr. and my clothes are all fitting way better!!  I think we are probably somewhere around 50-60 lbs lost overall.  I gained some back in July due to all the stress. But it is going in the right direction again and that is awesome!!

Chris' work is still going well and taking a lot of time.  He is always at work, but I am so grateful that he has a job he enjoys and is doing a wonderful job!!

That's about all folks!! Smooches!!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

July starts off with a bang!!

June sucked, I think I've covered that. The day after I got fired I had an interview with Dillard's, I wasn't wasting any time and I am so glad I didn't. After 2 interviews and a background check, they offered me a job today!! Less than a week of being unemployed... Hell ya!!! I'm a little anxious about going back into retail, however the money is better, there are benefits and room to grow with the company. Let's just say the pros for surely outweigh the cons. I'm going into this excited and I'm going to kill it!! I will be in the home department. I think that will be so much fun!! One of the things I will get to do is help with the Christmas trees. All who know me, know that is something that is in my blood and I should have no issue with!!

The holidays were a little different for us this year, we had friends over on the 3rd and had the yummiest dinner ever. We lit off some fun firecrackers and all the neighbors started coming outside, I'm not going to lie I was a little nervous!!  But it was so much fun, our neighbors joined us and our good pals had a bunch of sparklers in their car and started handing them out to the neighborhood.  Lily was actually super brave and was throwing firecrackers!! I couldn't believe it.  Chris took a bunch of pics but I don't know how to get them onto my blog, so if you're interested I think they're on his facebook.  The one picture I wish I would have taken was when Chris and our neighbor Adam started sweeping the street with their big push brooms.  Our street is so clean you could prolly eat off it!! We had so much fun hanging outside and making a lot of noise!!

The 4th was much quieter. Chris had to work so Lily and I were just kind of hanging out here all day. I didn't feel that great so we didn't do much, we were able to catch some fireworks from our house and Lily thought it was cool to watch some on t.v. Because I wasn't feeling well we didn't make it up to my brother's house for his little annual bbq and firework fun.  But because of my awesome Sil and her Sil I got some pics of him sporting the ugliest shirt ever.  Which of course was purchased by me for him as a joke and he busts outs to celebrate America

If you can't tell its an American Flag. With a giant eagle mid-flight across the top AND a guy riding a motorcycle across the bottom. I mean really how awesome is that!! I had to buy it just to prove it actually existed and couldn't be happier he thinks it's funny too!!

Today was a wonderful day, I started off being offered my new job. It poured crazy rain, I opened all my windows and loved it!!  Finally got to the library and got some new books, I decided to go for a few comedian's memoirs.  So far the first one is very foul and very hilarious, just what I needed right now. Lily loves libraries so she is very glad we can go.  They even gave her her own card!! We celebrated with Krispy Kreme and scouted out a few stores for a couple of things for our house. Next post will have some pics of the house... I promise!!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

June 2012 was a rollercoaster, and I want to get off now.

We have been in the place for a month, we are unpacked and settled.  I haven't decorated very much because I can't decide what I want to do where. I love the area and the house. We have some wonderful friends and that makes a huge difference. I realized today that we listed the old house a year ago today. I can't believe how much can happen in one year! It is crazy.  This post I am going to talk about the first month here and how it is going.

My grandfather has been very sick for about 3 years. The last year has gotten progressively worse and the last 6 months has been just plain awful.  Right after we moved he got really, really sick and was admitted to the hospital.  He passed away on father's day after making the decision to end all treatment. He was a wonderful man and I will miss him very, very much.

I started my new job right before we moved and I really liked it from the start, there were a few things that I wasn't sure about but I chalked it up to never working for a doctor's office.  Friday I was having a wonderful day, really felt like I was "getting" everything. I went to lunch, came back and got fired. That's right, fired. It has never, ever happened to me before. Ever. I don't want to go to deep into the situation and the ridiculousness of it all. It was absolutely insane. I know I can say that honestly. I did nothing wrong and I know that. All I will say is that the Dr's wife, who is also the "office manager" let me go because of a "gut" feeling that I just wasn't fitting in and she "didn't want to drag the situation out any longer". She couldn't give me an example of anything I was doing wrong or anything I could do to improve. She actually told me that everyone said I was doing such a good job. There is more to the story of how she treated me and the things she said.  It wasn't nice and it wasn't professional in the slightest little bit. I came home and cried like a baby I was very upset.  After having the weekend to discuss with family and friends I have come to the realization that this is for the best and there was obviously something going on that I wasn't in the loop on. I am trying to let it go, but it is difficult.  I really thought these were good people. They were not.

The weight loss situation is not so great right now. With everything that has happened in the last 30 days I have fallen completely off the wagon. I am going to try super hard to get back into check with it and really get back in the right frame of mind.

June was a very intense month. Here is to hoping July goes a little more smoothly!!

Cheers my friends!!